Tuesday, 17 May 2016

Being alone and being lonely

Do you not mind going to the movies alone? Do you not mind mall hopping alone? Do you not mind having a coffee and reading a book at a cafe alone? Do you not mind travelling alone? Do you not mind going to the beach and sit alone? Do you not mind sitting and eating alone?

If your answer to all or any of these is no, then I belong to your club. Our species might be rare but definitely not absent. Us doing these does not mean that we are dejected by friends, family or lovers or we are freaks. My colleagues calls me a 'weirdo' because I sometimes go to movies alone or go for shopping alone. I don't mind being called that because I know I am just as normal as them.

Probably we are very comfortable in our own company, listening to the thoughts that crawls through our minds. Or we just want to go out and we do, as simple as that!

I have my breakfast alone at office and I like it. Not a morning person and can't handle gossip at 8 o'clock. But I do have coffee and lunch with my friends at office.

I have been staying alone for the past 5 years. And the questions comes from every possible direction that what the hell I do alone? What do I eat? With whom do I talk to? What do I do at weekends? Don't I get bored? Do I have friends at all? The curiosity of humans at other people's  expense is incredible!

Yes, I stay alone. I have hobbies and interests. I cook my food and eat. I watch romcom and love it. I listen to music and probably sway to some favorite numbers. I have my folks back home and I have people in my life who loves me enough to let me have my space. They don't suffocate me with probing questions and they don't investigate my case. They care enough to just let me be. I have few but special friends. We may not share a minute to minute report but we do share our happiness and troubles. My life is good.

I might look alone but definitely am not lonely. There is a huge difference, my friend.

Tuesday, 10 May 2016

Immeasurable love

We all love and we are all loved. It is a basic emotion and is the most sought after. It is an extremely fulfilling feeling and is the root of many heart wrenching stories. People rise in love and achieve greatness in life. People lose in love and succumb to many levels of deaths in one lifetime. So love is all there is and they say "love is not for the faint hearted".

But can we measure love..if yes, what are the dimensions to measure it in? What is just the right amount of love for it to be sustainable? What duration must love live to prove its genuinity? Can't we love deeply but briefly, passionately but selfishly? All the terms, conditions and boundaries that makes us self-appointed judges of love distracts us from the truth that love is boundless, timeless and has a mind of its own. It is not a slave to our philosophies and man-developed theories. Love has wings and it flies. It is pure and heart-driven, innocent and tumultuous.

A mother's love is the purest of all and there is certainly no doubt about it. A mother can love all her children equally and infinitely. But is romantic love divisible i.e can you love more than two people at the same time? If you do, does it mean that you really love neither of them or you love both of them? Is this possible and does this kind of love exists?

Long gone are the days when people had to wait for months to get a reply to their love letters. Probably it will be carried by a bird or a man by foot across great distances. What remarkable patience they might have had! Now we are into instant messaging and instant calls.

"The double ticks has become blue, why has not she replied yet?She probably does not care for me."

"I called him like 2 times, why has not he called back yet? He probably does not think of me at all."

"He did not plan to come and meet me, he wanted to stay in. Why? he does not have any interest in me anymore."

How do you know and how do you measure the love? The time it took for her to reply after reading your messages or the number of times he sent her flowers. If a person has loved before, does this fact make him/her less capable of loving again?How much time gap is appropriate? Simple yet quite complicated.

How can we measure something which is itself not measurable, it has no units. Maybe love is vast like the universe and deep like the sea, not limited by days, months or years. In this mundane world, are not we lucky to still find love no matter how brief or deep, how shallow or selfish, how pure or exclusive.  Can we just hold on to it and not spend our limited and precious time in defining and measuring it?